Nicole’s Postpartum Story

Before having my first baby I had spent plenty of time thinking about what kind of environment I wanted for the birth. For me, it felt completely normal and safe to have my baby at home, and other than the hands and hearts of my loving partner and midwives, I wanted to rely on my inner strength and intuition to guide me without any other outside forces. I felt very confident and strong about this choice.

I didn’t, however, even have the insight or understanding that the postpartum time is just as sacred and critical as the birth. With deep ignorance, I really felt that all I needed after having my baby was my love and my boobs. I didn’t realize that I wouldn’t be able to care for myself, as I would be deeply healing on every level, and that all of my life force would be going towards this new little being. 

My midwives told me the old adage “5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days around the bed,” but I don’t think I truly understood that that literally meant not to leave the bed for over 2 weeks. Instead, I registered that as a simple “rest” or don’t do ALL the things you normally do. Needless to say, within a few days I was frequently going up and down the stairs to feed myself from the kitchen, and within a few weeks, I was already outside going on walks. For me, this was like resting, as I had been running a few times a week up until I was 37 weeks pregnant. And I was quite proud of myself at the time, thinking that my recovery was going great- I mean, look at me! I’m already out on walks! 

BUT I had no idea (and nobody had told me!) that the 6-week postpartum window is NOT the time to be outside, moving around in the world and being up in gravity. My body ended up telling me. I noticed that my bleeding was coming back after I had thought it was ending or it would be heavier than the previous day(s). I had also experienced my first of many bouts of mastitis and my back was killing from the constant baby wearing.

By the time my 6-week check-in with my midwives came about, I was still bleeding. They urged me to continue to rest. This was confusing for me as I really thought that that was what I had been doing! My bleeding continued like this, where I would have a short period where I wasn’t bleeding, and then all of a sudden, it would come back to some degree, all the way up until I started my monthly cycle.   

After the birth of my first baby I began training as a birth and postpartum doula, and later would take a course in Ayurvedic Postpartum Care (to learn more or register to train as an AyurDoula with the Center for Sacred Window Studies click HERE). And it wasn’t until then that I learned that it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t have a plan or didn’t do things the “right” way in my postpartum window. How was I to know anyway?! No one around me at the time had even hinted that this was something that I should be planning for. And that is currently true for the majority of new families. Unfortunately, this is something that has been lost in our society, but is something that has been held and passed down for generations and across cultures around the world.

After the birth of my second baby I had learned enough about the importance of postpartum body care to make it a priority. I found myself so beautifully held by my midwives who provided a Closing of the Bones Ceremony, which included a yoni steam covered in blankets, cupping therapy, and massage. With my third baby I didn’t leave my house for my entire 6 week window and hired a massage therapist to provide a gentle lymphatic massage bi-weekly in my home. My mother and husband cooked me delicious, warming meals every day, and also took care of my 2 older children. My only responsibility was establishing my breastfeeding relationship with my baby girl, ensuring I asked for food and drink when I needed it, and taking care of my toileting needs.  

My biggest lesson after having all 3 of my babies is this: YES, it is important to have support around you for the birth of your baby, however it is possible for many of us to solely rely on the wisdom and intuition of our bodies during labor and birth. However, this is NOT the case for postpartum. We absolutely need community support, in order to get the rest and nourishment that we need.

Here at HPC, we are working towards waking up community consciousness and remembering how sacred this transition is for women, so that our bodies, minds, and spirits can heal from the incredible sacrifice of pregnancy and childbirth and so that our babies and children can be held and loved by healthy, thriving mothers. 

Reach out to us if you need support planning